


Petty Gay Bitches

by SoulSpreadInInk



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Armitage Hux is a Jerk, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, I just wanted to write Hux as the sassy bitch he is, Just with more gay, Kylo Ren Throws A Tantrum, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, They are both the worst, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulSpreadInInk/pseuds/SoulSpreadInInk
Summary: Kylo Ren was on his way to kill General Hux.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 88





	Petty Gay Bitches

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted work for this couple, but I've loved them for years! This is set just after the events of TFA.

Kylo Ren was on his way to kill General Hux.

He stomped through the corridors of the Finalizer, his rage palpable. Stormtroopers turned and ran at the sight of him, and those who were too slow were flung into the nearest wall. He didn’t spare them a backward glance, leaving them trembling in their armor. He was intent on his goal, and upon arriving at the door to Hux’s quarters, he ripped off his glove and slammed his hand against the entry pad so hard it cracked. The door slid open, and he stormed in, immediately yelling at the top of his lungs.

“ARMITAGE HUX, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE—”

“Ren,” came Hux’s voice, quite calmly, from where he was lying on his regulation couch, filling out paperwork on his datapad. “I’m right here. Kindly do shut up or leave my chambers; I’ve got a splitting headache and a lot of work left to do today. And who gave you permission to use my first name? I certainly didn’t.”

Kylo saw red. Hux wouldn’t even look at him, dismissing him outright. 

“You’re nothing but a pompous, bratty, conceited bitch,” Kylo growled. Hux yawned exaggeratedly, and flipped to the next form. 

“Yes, I know,” he said. “Now, what are you on about?”

Objects around the room began to shake as Kylo boiled with rage, and Hux’s datapad burst in a shower of sparks and glass in his hands. 

“What the KRIFF is wrong with you?!” Hux yelled. He jumped to his feet and marched over to Kylo. “Get OUT, get out right now, you have no right to come into my private quarters without express invitation anyway, and now you’re destroying my things! Go have your kriffing tantrum elsewhere, you overgrown mutt.” 

Kylo crossed his arms and widened his stance, making himself virtually immovable as Hux did his best to shove him out the door. All the general succeeded in doing was tiring himself out. He gave up after several minutes of pushing and pulling (and one cheating grab at a handful of dark hair) and scowled up at Ren defiantly. 

“Well?” he said. “What now? Are you going to clean up your mess, leave, or just keep standing there like an asshole?”

“You know what you did,” Kylo said.

Hux looked genuinely confused. His ignorance only served to make Kylo angrier. Hux’s couch started sliding across the floor. Hux, sensing the imminent destruction of his favorite piece of furniture, reached up and grabbed his face with one gloved hand. He dug his nails into still-healing flesh and Kylo hissed in pain. 

“Ren,” he said, “if you want an apology for something, you’re going to have to enlighten me. I really have no idea what you’re on about.”

“I am an excellent pilot,” he said, pouting. 

Understanding flitted across Hux’s face, and he burst into a fit of laughter. 

“That’s what this is all about?” he said. “Your little ego was bruised when I proposed that we send out professional TIE fighters, trained specifically for that purpose, instead of you?”

“I am a professional!” Kylo snarled, and Hux burst into a fresh bout of giggles. 

“You’re just lucky I prepare for your hissy fits ahead of time now,” Hux said, wiping a tear from his eye. “I did lose the document I was working on, mind you, which is rather hateful, but I refuse to be set back a day just because the great Kylo Ren got his feelings hurt. And of all the things to throw a fit about, you really picked the one comment I didn’t mean as a jab. Honestly, Ren, sometimes I don’t know why I bother with you.”

He walked back over towards the couch, and touched a section of the wall. A brand new datapad slid out of a hidden panel, and he booted it up, plopped himself back down, and got right back to work.

Kylo’s hands balled up into fists at his sides.

“Maybe I’ll leave!” he shouted. “Maybe the scavenger girl had a point, maybe there is more out there for me. I could be so much more outside of the First Order, I could rule the galaxy, a partner by my side who actually appreciates me—”

Hux looked bored, scrolling through his datapad without so much as looking at him.

“As if you could find anyone else who knows how to suck your brains out of your dick,” he drawled, and Kylo sputtered, his face purpling, before grasping at the first name that came to mind. 

“Mitaka! He’s a kiss-ass, he’d do anything if it meant making a superior happy—”

“Mitaka isn’t as pretty as me,” Hux said, and then he did look up, piercing Ren in place with his cold green eyes and smiling devilishly. 

Kriff. He was right. Kylo barely resisted crossing his arms and stomping like a child, settling for shoving his helmet back on with more force than necessary.

“Well... fuck you.”

“Yes, Ren, that is quite the point. I’ll see you later tonight, darling. Lock the door on your way out, will you?”

“Asshole.”

“Toddler.”

**Author's Note:**

> The canon dynamic we need.  
> I have a ton of Kylux fic written that I'd love to publish, so please let me know what you thought of this one!  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
